The Pursuer/ Distancer Dynamic in Intimate Relationships can cause couples to have painful and lonely experiences in their relationship. Couples & Marriage Counseling can help break the pattern and transition into healthy secure relating behaviors.
Couples tend to get into cyclical problematic dynamics of withdrawing and shutting down, or escalating and arguing. Often one partner pursues the other (wanting connection but not knowing how to achieve it) while the other one retreats, feeling overwhelmed and shut down. This cycle is very typical in problematic relationships and is what Dr. Sue Johnson refers to as the distancer and pursuer dance. Read more about this common relationship pitfall.